Thursday, January 28, 2010

And, The Winner Is...

The Religious Douchebags award for excellence in journalism goes to...

Alicia Colon for her ground breaking, non-meandering and completely unbiased article

With the Moon Missions Scrapped, Is Christianity Next in Obama’s Gunsights?

which so eloquently details the obvious connections between Obama, NASA, Christianity, gun sights, jihad, pandora, the ACLU and...wait...what were we talking about?

President Obama wants to nix NASA’s moon missions and instead intends to spend funding for space ventures beyond earth’s orbit. Perhaps to Avatar’s beautiful planet Pandora?

Now what would make the president stray so far from JFK’s vision of lunar supremacy? Perhaps he wasn’t that thrilled to learn what I just did about what occurred on the first moon landing. Buzz Aldrin confirmed that he took communion on the Moon.

It was upsetting enough for the president to deal with the alarming news that the government has been purchasing gun sights with Christian codes.

If its perfectly all right to use the sacred Koran as the rational to commit jihad, then wouldn’t that mean that a religious war is being waged against us?

There have been plenty of rumors floating around Barack Obama’s religious affiliations that suggest his Christian roots don’t run very deep.

When the ACLU and the other secular protesters start hammering CAIR and radical imams about their tax-free status with the IRS.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dinosaurs Are Awesome

Angry Christian leaves a threatening letter on someone's car over a dinosaur sticker

The sticker...

The letter...

Apparently,  freedom of speech only applies to people who believe in Jewish zombies

Jesus Trees And Idiots

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Robertson: Haiti Had "pact with devil"

On his Christian Broadcasting Network today, televangelist Pat Robertson told viewers:

And you know, Christy, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it, they were under the heel of the French, uh, you know, Napoleon the third and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the devil, they said, we will serve you, if you get us free from the Prince, true story. And so the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free, and ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other. . .

Read More: Epic_Revenge

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Why Glenn Beck is Mormon

“You became a Mormon. Why?”

“I apologize, but guys will understand this. My wife is, like, hot, and she wouldn’t have sex with me until we got married, and she wouldn’t marry me unless we had a religion."

Read More: Get_Some_Glenn, Get_Some

Man Slices Off Tongue To Appease God

A childless Indian man sliced off his tongue as an offering to the god Shiva in the hope of becoming a father.
Police said 28-year-old Mukesh Kumar chopped off his tongue with a razor blade at a temple in the state of Uttar Pradesh dedicated to the Hindu god.

Read More: Tongue_Offering

Unfortunately, the man was not available for comment.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rev. Antonio Cortes Sodomizes 16-year-old

Rev. Antonio Cortes, who is suspended from his duties as pastor of St. Mary of the Nativity Church in Salinas, is accused of engaging in sodomy with a 16-year-old boy and providing him alcohol. The boy told police that Cortes was giving him "spiritual massages" and alcohol for a few years, beginning at Holy Trinity Church in Greenfield, where Cortes was previously assigned.

Read More: Antonio_Cortes

According to testimony at the preliminary hearing, police seized a laptop computer and two external hard drives that contained "tens of thousands" of images and videos depicting boys as young as 6 years old engaged in sexual activity.

Friday, January 8, 2010

We Had It First!

Kuala Lumpur: Three churches were fire bombed in the Malaysian capital early Friday escalating religious tensions over the use of word “Allah” by non-Muslims, as government and opposition leaders joined to defuse the situation.

Read More: OMA, Are You Serious?

As the majority Muslims angered over the decision last week by the High Court to let Christians use the word “Allah” while referring to God were preparing to hold protest during Friday prayers, a church in the suburbs was fire bombed around midnight.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Request For Records On Pedophile Priests

Rhode Island: Father Brendan Smyth had been sent to Rhode Island in 1965 after molesting children in Northern Ireland. He was eventually charged with 91 counts of molestation there. He died in prison in Ireland in 1997 at age 70.

Two of his alleged victims in Rhode Island are demanding that the Diocese Of Providence release their records on Smyth and other suspected pedophile priests. Providence Archbishop Thomas Tobin has refused to comment on the charges.

Read More: Catholic_Cover_Up

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone

Merry Christmas From Westboro Baptist Church!!!

Pastor Charged With Sexual Battery

North Carolina: Pastor Harley Michael Keough charged with six counts of sexual battery on female parishioners. The women say he touched them, pressed against them or kissed them.

The women told police the incidents happened at King James Baptist Church in Bessemer City.

Read More: Pastor_Touchy_Hands

This marks the second time a group of women have reported inappropriate touching to police. Last month, five women told police that Keough had fondled them when they came to the church’s food bank seeking help.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Tiger Woods Must Become Christian

Buddhism is inferior to Christianity when it comes to forgiveness of sins, according to Faux News pundit Brit Hume. Tiger Woods should turn his back on Buddhism and become a Christian to be forgiven.

Pedo-Priest Database

A website called 'Bishop Accountability' has posted the names of 3300 Catholic priests accused of pedophilia.

Read More: Pedo_Priest_DB

Pastor Arrested For Dealing Meth

California: Pastor Anthony Garduno arrested for dealing crystal meth. He may also face gun and sexual assault charges. Garduno was shot during a September break-in at his church. Investigators believe the suspects may have been after his drugs.

Read More: Pushing_Pastor

Garduno was a Catholic priest until he was booted for "inappropriate sexual contact" with a male parishioner.

More Calls For Resignations In Ireland

Ireland: The Irish Independent calls on Bishop Martin Drennan to resign over accusations he helped cloak the crimes of pedophile priests. The four other bishops named in the scandalous Murphy_Report have all offered their resignations.

Read More: Bishop_Drennan
Resignations?  Where's the calls for imprisonment?